Leonard Gray / L’Observateur / July 24, 2000

It’s nice after more than 20 years of marriage to still feel needed around the house. Over the course of years, my wife has chosen to assume moreand more duties around the household, to the extent that sometimes I’ve wondered what my function is.

Mind you, I have my faults, to be sure. Not the least of these is what mywife calls my “convenient” hearing. For the most part, this has gotten meout of taking out the trash and several other minor duties. She insists thattaking out the trash is a man’s job, but 99.99 percent of the time, she doesit anyway.

There’s a number of things, though, which allow me to assert my own position around there and it provides me a certain degree of satisfaction.

Now, one would imagine that a wife who out-earns her husband by more than 50 percent and projects the image of independence, competence and drive would manage to catch the bugs.

Every time one of our two cats bursts through the cat door with a lizard or large insect or baby bird, guess who gets the call to separate cat from critter and remove it from the house? One would imagine that a wife who works out at least three days a week at a health club and roller-blades at least twice a week and frequently comments on her own robust health and strength would manage to open a stuck bottle or jar.

Every time the mayonnaise jar is stuck, though, the cry goes up for hubby to pop it open.

Long ago, she took over administration of the household finances, including the monthly bills and taxes. This was done without my advice,consent or even discussion. I don’t exactly know when it happened, but if Ihad to suddenly take on those functions, there would be a number of late bills for a few months.

I’ve suggested politely that she re-train me on that, at least, just in case she gets horribly sick, injured or pre-deceases me. Somehow, she neverfinds the time.

However, it’s me pushing the grocery cart, adding it up as we go to stay within budget. And guess who is almost always called upon to determinethe tip in a restaurant? And, for a woman who projects a hard-nosed, no-nonsense image in the business world, guess who has to deal with insurance companies, telemarketers or even talking on the telephone at all? Mind you, I’m OK with her taking on so many household functions, which she carries out excellently. Of course, she works 37 1/2 hours per weekand I almost invariably work more.

And I do have my chores, such as the yard work and much of the dishwashing and I have been known to run a load of laundry from time to time.

It gives me more time for cruising the internet, sorting out my comic book collection and organizing my videotapes and personal library.

A man has to have his priorities.

LEONARD GRAY is a reporter for L’Observateur.

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