Leonard Gray / L’Observateur / July 8, 2000

The newest television sensation leaves me with somewhat mixed feelings.

The millionaire marriage was a national joke, and I didn’t watch and find it hilarious that this “lady” who now says on every talk show she only wants her privacy back – as her photo layout in Playboy magazine hits the stands.

Now, the “reality” shows of “Survivor” and “Big Brother” have apparently captivated the brain-mushed, eager to peer into the lives of a collection of strangers who have to deal with each other in close quarters while TV cameras intrude into every legally-possible move they make.

Let’s recap. On each show, they took several people, with a racial and agemix designed to appeal to every demographic, tossed them into an isolated condition and told them to vote out someone on a weekly basis. Whoeverremains wins a potload of money.

OK, this is “reality.” Somehow, that part is lost to me.I haven’t gotten into the “Survivor” series, and I haven’t seen a single episode. The desert island scenario just doesn’t appeal to me. Even a”Baywatch” babe stranded on an island doesn’t appeal to me. I just keepthinking of nocturnal insects, malnutrition, short tempers and sunburn.

Even a “Baywatch” beauty will look a little scuzzy after a month without her skin treatments. Of course, the malnutrition may help with thecheekbones as so many seek that anorexic look.

I gave “Big Brother” a look, at least that introductory episode where the viewers are introduced to the group who will live together in extremely close quarters for three months. Or, should I say, one will live there forthe whole term and the others will, over time, be voted out.

I could be in this show, if only for the reasons stated above. Don’t have tobe concerned with the nocturnal insects, malnutrition and sunburn. Thebiggest connection with “Survivor” is the short tempers.

In fact, the introduction to those going into The House included one young lady who made no bones about the fact that she has a short fuse. Oh, boy,fun viewing tonight! Let’s pop some popcorn and watch the shrew and who she blisters tonight with her sharp tongue.

The idea is these five men and five women will live together and we get to see how well they get along.

I think it would be hilarious if they simply all got along fine and there were no confrontations, arguments, illicit sex, scandal or anything to really keep viewer attention. In short, I hope the series is SO boring,we’ve all stopped tuning in by the end, so much so that when the last person steps out to win the half-million dollars, we’ll hear about it and say, “Oh, yeah..so what.”And that should shut down the whole concept and writers for television can try to be creative for a change.

Or then again, let’s gather around and rent a movie and forget the whole thing.

Or maybe let’s read a good book with our children. I hear there’s a new”Harry Potter” out on the stands.

LEONARD GRAY is a reporter for L’Observateur.

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