LEE DRESSELHAUS

Survivor II’ just might be enough to make anyone give up television

So..I did it. I confess. I watched the second episode of “Survivor II” this week. I swore I wouldn’t give in to the hype that pushes these insipid things down our throats, but I did. I was couch-ridden with the flu, of course, which weakened my will anyway. And besides, it was between that and “Friends,” which I will only watch at gunpoint. Before I get started on the “Survivor” thing, did anyone see the latest new low in television? According to “E!,” there will soon be yet another completely horrible new show that is designed to crush the dignity of anyone stupid enough to want to participate. As if they had any dignity to crush in the first place. This new travesty, which actually sinks lower than “Temptation Island”, is “Who Wants To Date A Hooter’s Girl?” I’m not making that up. There will really be a show in which some testosterone-laden idiots will compete to see who will date one of the skimpily clad girls from the Hooter’s restaurant chain. Is it just me, or am I missing something here? Just how good looking can these girls possibly be? And if they’re that dazzling, why are they serving Buffalo wings at Hooter’s? Oh, wait. It’s not that the girls are that amazing. I have the answer. Chances are that the girls are attractive enough and can probably wait a mean table, but they aren’t the fuel that will make this show go. No, what will make this show work, at least for a while, is the absolute stupidity and total lack of dignity on the part of whatever idiot men they can get to be contestants. Now, don’t get me wrong. Like every other male on the planet I’ve occasionally n maybe even frequently – made a complete fool of myself over a woman. But at least I had the good sense to do whatever it was that made a fool of me in private so that if and when it blew up in my face I could at least change the facts around to present myself in the best possible light later. Like any self – respecting man, that is. These men will make fools of themselves to go out with a waitress in front of millions of people. No possibility of deniability or even putting a credible spin on things later. I don’t get it. And as a man, I am appalled. Like I said, I prefer to make a blubbering fool of myself in private. And I won’t watch “Who Wants To Date A Hooter’s Girl?” But, then, that’s what I said about “Survivor II.” But in my weakened state (flu, remember) I gave in. And I made a little discovery. This show is different from the first one. For one thing, the first show was shot on some cozy desert island, with nice beaches and palms, and girls in bikinis wandering about pretending to be concerned about survival. A setting like that goes a long way toward making things better than they are. This one is being shot in the Australian outback. One of the first things given to the 16 contestants was a snakebite kit. Which goes a long way toward setting the tone for that particular experience, let me tell you. Welcome to Australia, folks. Watch for the poisonous snakes. Now, have a nice camping trip. And there’s another difference as well. I don’t think these people like each other very much. Unlike the interplay between the contestants from the first “Survivor,” there is an underlying sense of hostility in the dynamics between these contestants. Not just a sense of competition between them for cash. A genuine sense of dislike for one another. I couldn’t help thinking, as I watched the tension between them, that this could only mean one thing. This show could be worth watching after all. On this episode, one of the bikini-clad bimbettes (they have some on this version of “Survivor,” too) accused one of the guys of having a secret stash of beef jerky and feasting on it while they all starved. She said she saw him chewing and it looked like jerky to her. So, based on her word alone, they ransacked his personal articles looking for the stuff as soon as he was out of camp for a while. They didn’t find anything and when he returned to camp they confronted him. He denied having any such thing and said he had been chewing on grass, not jerky. They all nodded and pretended to believe him. They then voted him out of the tribe at the very first opportunity. The last we saw of him was his back as he walked away following the phony little ceremony thing they do before kicking someone to the curb. Absolute cut-throat politics. Cool. Anyway, for the first time during this whole “reality show” craze, I’m finding myself interested to a limited degree. These people look as though they have the potential to be ruthless with one another. Just like in real life, the ultimate spectator sport. LEE DRESSELHAUS writes this column every Wednesday for L’Observateur.