Ronny Keller Michel – From the Heart

I’ve been reflecting upon my life and taking inventory of the contents of my past. It would be very easy to list the many, many mistakes that I’ve made during my 44 years of living. Heading that list would certainly be my constant beratement of myself and the pain that I’ve suffered from those self-inflicted wounds. However, I have decided to take a new approach – a kinder, gentler, more positive treatment of myself. While I will not piously pronounce the following as the steps to a successful life, I can emphatically state that, right or wrong, these are things that I do not regret.

I do not regretŠ

Š the many pictures that I have of my family. These priceless memories captured in print have been worth every penny. In fact, one of my greatest delights is catching one of my children pouring over photo albums. It makes meŠ ‘say cheese.’

Š disposable diapers. With five children, I have spent at least eleven years (Geoff took a little longer to train) buying and applying diapers. I just hope that I never find out how much money I have spent on them.

Š spending hours decorating birthday cakes for the kids. I’m just as happy that they no longer request Sesame street characters, choo choo trains, or Barbies in cake form, but it was worth the effort.

Š the early Christmas. I was always a last minute Christmas shopper, except for one year when Monique and Geoff were toddlers. I decided to shop early. I proudly purchased the toys that I knew would make their faces light up on Christmas morning. Then the pre-Christmas excitement got to me. The anticipation of watching them play with their toys was too much to contain. So we had Christmas in November. I ran to the closet and rescued those gifts from the bondage of their boxes. What fun we had that November morning. Later, around the 20th of December, I was back in the mall.

Š holding Lauren’s hand. During the year that I underwent chemotherapy treatment, three-year-old Lauren became very insecure. If I left the room, she thought that I was going to the doctor’s office. If I left the house, she thought that I was going back to the hospital in Houston. She would not fall asleep until I would lay in her bed and hold her hand. I decided that if I had to hold her hand for the rest of my life, I would. I’m happy to report that she can now fall asleep alone, but I do miss holding her hand.

Š building blocks. My children loved to stack their blocks as high as they could, then knock them down. Then they would build another ‘tower to the sky,’ and knock it down. Over and over again they repeated this process and were increasingly amused each time they caused the blocks to topple. Maybe they were learning some of life’s lessons. Maybe they were learning that it takes time to build and the higher you build, the more careful you need to be. Maybe they were learning that when life starts to wobble, you have to slow down. Maybe they were learning that you should always put the big blocks at the bottom because everything needs a good foundation. Maybe they were learning that no matter how bad the damage appears, rebuilding is always possible. Or, maybe they were just trying to amuse themselves on a rainy day and I was the one who was learning the lessons.

Šserving my children ice cream for breakfast on the morning of their birthday. Everyone should be treated special on the celebration of their birth. We have the rest of the year for the usual breakfast fare. Around here, that’s Captain Crunch cereal, Pop Tarts, frozen waffles, and leftover pizza. I’m kidding. No, really Mom, I’m kidding.

Šgiving Monique diamond earrings. On her 16th birthday, I gave her the earrings that her Dad gave to me when she was born. The fact that she lost one when she was 17 provided another one of life’s lessons. I was not upset, not even in the privacy of my own thoughts. With of the swipe of a credit card, a diamond can be replaced. My daughter is not expendable. I hope she never forgets that she is worth so much more to me than jewelry.

Šspending hours reading to the children. Sometimes I would read the same books to them over and over and they would never tire of them. In fact, they seemed to find comfort in knowing the outcome of their favorite stories and would delight in ‘reading’ the books themselves.

Šplaying golf with Geoff in mid July, 1994. I was very pregnant and it was very hot. That day marked my first and last experience on a golf course. The only reason that I ventured onto that foreign turf was because I wanted to do something that interested him. We laughed more than he golfed and made memories that have entertained us over and over again.

Šrocking Elise. She was the child that most enjoyed being rocked. If I close my eyes, I can still see her little blond head cradled in my arms.

Šsitting through baseball games, dance recitals, football games, plays, basketball games, swim meets, volleyball games, piano recitals, and all of the hours of practices that preceded each of those events. Watching my children participate in activities that they enjoy is a pleasure.

Šfamily gatherings. Visiting with my extended family is a wonderful opportunity to relive old memories and to create new ones. It’s also a good excuse to eat my Mom’s peanut butter fudge.

Šspeech therapy. I spent a few years bringing Geoff to speech. During that time, my constant prayer was that Geoff would one day clearly and concisely declare the Word of God. Today, he does. Lauren, too, required speech lessons and relished the extra attention from her teachers. She now speaks very clearly, quite loudly, and oh, so often. Apparently her speech teachers told her to aim for quality and quantity when speaking.

Špiano lessons. One by one, Monique, Lauren, and Elise, began their lessons and then, one by one, they abandoned the piano. Today, both Monique and Elise regret their decision to quit, but I’m glad that they were given that introduction to music. Geoff never wanted to begin and now I am reminded to check into lessons for Victoria.

Š weekend fairs. I spent last weekend taking Victoria to the St. Peter’s Fair. For three days she rode the rides with her cousin, Shelby, while I visited with friends and family. It was a fun ending to our spring break.

Šstaying true to my marriage vows. We’ve had better and worse. We’ve had sickness and health. We’re had richer and poorer. And we still encounter hurdles. And we still ask God to help us to soar over them. And He still does.