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There I was, just sitting at lunch with a bunch of guys, when the subject of catfish came up. I had no idea what these boys were talking about, because the only catfish I’ve seen lives in the zoo aquarium.

Then somebody asked, “How do you make a catfish?” The only way I know to make a cat fish is to give him a rod and reel.

After leaving lunch, I was inspired to research the beast. I will now reveal more than you wanted to know about catfish, the seafood with whiskers.

1. Catfish live in fresh water. Most catfish don’t have scales, so they can’t tell you how much they weigh.
2. Fishermen claim they’re easy to catch because, frankly, they’re dumber than a turnip.
3. Catfish enjoy most any bait, including trash or waste matter. This gives them horrible halitosis, and explains why you’ve never seen two catfish make out.
4. Some channel catfish grow to 40 pounds. That’s too much to eat in one sitting, unless you are a shark. But sharks never sit down, anyway.
5. I know absolutely nothing about preparing fish. But here’s another common seafood question: “Should I serve catfish for dinner?”

Answer: “Yes, if you can get them to sit at the table.”

 

Ask Rix anything…the weirder, the better. Email questions to Rix@rixquinn.com.