| Who said it wouldn’t last
At last, we have the secret for a long and happy marriage, says the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. With his wife of 80 years, Edith Mae, at his side, Robert Schaum of Lancaster, PA said, it’s simple: “don’t go to bed mad.” They met in high school in 1936, courted and got married the day after Christmas in 1942. Alas, in 1943, Robert shipped out to the Pacific theater of World War II at the behest of Uncle Sam. The pair of 102-year-olds have two kids and a very happy marriage. Alas, what they don’t have is the record for the longest marriage; it was set by Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina. According to the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records, they were married for nearly 87 years until Herbert passed away at the age of 106.
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Maybe she forgot her glasses
Joni Keeney of Shepherdsville, KY usually gets a thumbs up and a smile for her front yard Christmas decorations but this year one passerby called the cops, reports the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. Keeney’s display featured a character from the classic National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation in which the scantily clad character, Cousin Eddie, stands outside of his RV emptying its toilet tank. The onlooker, whoever she was, didn’t get the joke and called the police, complaining that there was an improperly dressed man standing outside of the Kenney home exposing himself. When the police showed up they quickly saw that the caller mistook the dummy for a depraved exhibitioner and they laughed out loud.
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B-r-r-r-r!
The weathermen tell us that “mild weather prevails during most of the winter” in Austin, TX, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. But this year, just in time for Christmas, the outdoor thermometers fell to a freezing 10 degrees, what the National Weather Service called one of the nation’s “greatest extents of winter weather warnings and advisories ever.” Whether the folks at the HEB Car Wash in the Austin suburb of Lakeway forgot to turn its spigots off or a pipe burst open is anybody’s guess the overnight freeze turned the establishment into a winter wonder that attracted gangs of gawkers.
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