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Pied Piper wanted

Rats are overwhelming New York City in the end days of the covid pandemic, reports the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. It’s gotten so bad that the mayor has posted a want ad for the city’s own Pied Piper —  someone who can lure rats to their death with or without a magic flute.  It is estimated that the rat population has grown to as many as 35 million since the start of the covid pandemic. New York’s Director of Rodent Migration will need “the drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy — New York City’s relentless rat population,” according to the city’s want ad.

 

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Boy, did he get lucky

This poor guy in Windham, NH got lucky, says the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. Kevin Butler accidentally tossed his wife’s wedding rings out with the trash. No sooner did the garbage truck leave, he found his wife searching for a paper napkin containing the rings. She’d wrapped them in the napkin to dry after cleaning them. Against all odds, Kevin made his way to the dump and told the general services director what had happened. Despite the fact that they would have to search through about 20 tons of trash, Kevin managed to spot his trash bag. They opened it and, luckily, came across the napkin containing his wife’s rings.

 

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Age is only a number

This cat doesn’t need nine lives, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. Flossie is her name and she has been declared the oldest feline on the planet by the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records. The average cat can get to be about 20 years; Flossie is fast approaching 27 years, the equivalent of 120 human years, and she’s still going strong. The folks new owner says “she is still playful and curious, unbothered by her deafness and quickly adapts to new environments despite her lack of sight.