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by Rix Quinn

     Luckily, I’ve got a little home office. It’s a place I can go sleep after my morning coffee.

     On Monday I had lots of time on my hands, so I took an online test to gauge my maturity level. It said I was “childish, obnoxious, and apathetic.” It said some other stuff, but I didn’t care.

     I’ve also started cleaning out the attic. I found my old report cards from high school, along with notes that teachers sent home.

     I had forgotten that I once got in trouble for “releasing small rodents during a school assembly.” That accusation was unfair. My hamsters would never harm anybody.

     One afternoon, I sat on our front porch to watch the world pass by. I waved to everyone.

     If somebody didn’t wave back, I blew my duck call. Some people react poorly to weird noises.

     Because I spend so much time in the house, I actually enjoy talking to telephone salesmen.

     Last month I bought a week’s vacation from a recorded message. I didn’t realize that until I received the package, and the reservation said it was for July 2019.

     I’ve never binge-watched so many old TV series, and I keep getting their plots confused. Last night I dreamed I was the sheriff in a Wild West town who drove a red convertible, possessed magical powers, and kept his talking horse at home.

     Also, I’ve been watching sports events. I’ve seen some current ones, plus some old ones from the 20^th century. This week I saw two bowl games from the 1970s, a baseball playoff from the 1990s, and a track meet from the 1980s.

     I recorded the 100-yard dash, then played it backwards. Now, that’s what you call a true rerun.

     Got a subject you’d like Rix to talk about? E-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com