DEBORAH CORRAO / L’Observateur / January 28, 2000

Last week my friend Mary lost her husband. It did not happen suddenly like ina car accident, but quickly all the same – a snowballing chain of events and medical problems that would take Steve’s life within a few short weeks.

It was only about a month and a half ago that Mary spoke to me about her plans for retirement in a couple of years when the youngest of their four sons would be out of college.

During the course of Steve’s brief illness and in the aftermath of his death, friends and neighbors struggled desperately and valiantly to find the right words or deed that would provide some small measure of comfort to those he left behind. But, in fact, we’re all still healing from the blow. It’s like beinghit right in the gut – it takes our breath away by the force of its impact on each of our lives.

The blessing we find in this tragedy, though, is God’s turning our eyes inward to re-examine our own lives. We look upon our own loved ones with these neweyes, cherishing them all the more as we go about the business of performing the little acts of kindness intended to lighten Mary’s load – preparing meals, making phone calls, praying. And, indeed Mary says she hasbeen overwhelmed by the outreach and show of concern from friends, neighbors and co-workers.

As we all go about the process of healing, some of us also deal with what has become known as “survivors guilt.” We are grateful for being spared theburden ourselves, at least for now, but we come to a reckoning that it’s only a matter of time when our lives, too, will be touched by loss and we, too, will find ourselves in the grip of grief and sadness.

At times like this I find solace in the knowledge that our God cares deeply for all of his creation. Just as we, as parents or grandparents are quick to rushto the aid of a child who has fallen and scraped a knee or is experiencing emotional pain, so God is quick to run to us in our times of despair.

Just as we wipe away the tears of a child or hold her tightly to us, the Divine Spirit lifts us up an holds us fast and wipes away our tears.

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