Leonard Gray / L’Observateur / January 22, 2000

There’s a popular series of books by Dr. John Gray (no relation, I think)which had its beginning with the best-selling, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” In it, common perceptions of the differences betweenmen and woman are thrown into high relief and only repeats what everyone already knows, especially if they’re married.

The difference is, of course, that men and women, on the average, are so different, it’s hard to believe we’re the same species. It’s so basic, thatit’s astonishing the human race continues to survive.

Little boys and little girls, on the average, in Western society, are brought up very differently. Little boys are taught to be physical, ambitious,gregarious and deferential to little girls. Little girls are taught to playalong with what the boys are taught, for the sake of the boys’ tender male egos, but also to remember who really has the power.

Girls who fail to realize that power often fall victim to what the boys are taught, believing the boys’ outlook on life. Look at Eve. She and Adam werefine until she told Adam to take a bite. Abraham Lincoln might have ledAmerica out of the Civil War without the horrors of Reconstruction if Mrs.

Lincoln didn’t want to go to the theatre that night.

Women have an amazing capacity not only to survive, but to thrive in almost any circumstances. On the whole, they’re tough, physically,emotionally and intellectually, with an instinct reflected even in the animal kingdom. Don’t cross Mama Bear, Mama Lion or even Mama Alligator.The differences are never so much highlighted as when a boy and girl get into a fight. Boys are taught from a very young age not to hit a girl, nomatter what. As a result, if such a fight comes up, a boy will “pull” hispunches.

Girls aren’t taught that. They’re taught to go all-out, with nails, teeth,feet and fists. They’re taught to defend themselves. The unfortunate boydoesn’t have a prayer, and usually has to be rescued from the one-sided fight.

Women are much more social creatures than men. A woman often has agroup of friends, who are utterly devoted to her. A man has acquaintances,drinking buddies, business co-workers, rivals and enemies. He rarely hasfriends, at least not to the degree, quality and quantity as the average woman.

Consequently, that’s the reason more women are happier when they’re single and more men are happier when they’re married. A man needs awoman much more than a woman needs a man. Women tend to be muchmore self-sufficient and, at the same time, have a greater support system than the average man, who tends to be a loner.

I don’t have children, but if I did, I think I’d much rather have a daughter.

I’d worry, of course, but I probably shouldn’t have to. Girls are much morecapable and have a capacity for ruthlessness which is scary.

Now, a son…there’s a cause for concern.

LEONARD GRAY is a reporter for L’Observateur.

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