Leonard Gray / L’Observateur / December 11, 1999

It occurred to me after my column last week on country music and my lack of appreciation thereof that there was more I could say. So, I’m sayingmore.

Recalling my column from last week, it’s perhaps the very sound of country music which disagrees with me. I can’t hear a slide guitar withoutcringing.

I’m sometimes reminded of the joke that one never saw Brenda Lee and Wayne Newton at the same time, because they were actually the same person. Now, of course, the same joke is often applied to Janet and MichaelJackson.

There’s elements of country music I find particularly comical. I’mreminded of the movie “The Blues Brothers,” where the band shanghais a gig from a country group called “The Good Old Boys” and ends up at a redneck bar, singing “Stand by Your Man” and endless encores of “Theme from Rawhide.”(As an aside, I truly hope Dan Ackroyd knows he cannot sing.)The bar’s owner, however, brags to the band that they love both kinds of music, country AND western. The implication is, of course, that nothingelse can be rightly considered music.

However, one of my problems with country music is that so much of it is so depressing! It’s crying in your beer music. It’s lonesome train whistlemusic. It’s my woman left me and took my truck music. It’s my dog diedand my gun’s broke music. It’s I just got out of prison, I’m out of work andI can’t find a woman worth flirting with music.

All is not lost, though.

There’s a few collections of funny song titles for country music, and one of the funniest is “I’ll Just Drink Enough Till She Looks Good to Me,” otherwise knows as “Pig in a Blanket.” Apparently then, country musicdoes have a sense of humor about itself, something sadly lacking among rock musicians.

Country music has its place. It has influenced and been influenced by manyother musical genres, from gospel to folk to rhythm-and-blues, and even to rock.

It’s just that this last is so troubling. When I see someone wearing aspandex jumpsuit, black cowboy hat and a sickly smile and hear he’s one of the top acts around that I have my doubts. By the way, did anyone ever seeGarth Brooks and Andy Kaufman together? Some of Andy’s antics could have fit right in with Brooks. Andy would impersonate other characters.Garth put out an alleged rock album under a different name. They both havethose weird eyes.

What I’m waiting for now is Garth Brooks to try professional wrestling, just as Andy had his embarrassing wrestling events against women – almost always losing. Since wrestling is hot now, it’s not beyond therealm of possibility.

Garth? Andy? Garth? Andy? Which will bring me to my next column.

Leonard Gray is a reporter for L’Observateur

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