MARY ANN FITZMORRIS / L’Observateur / November 15, 1999

Since the beginning of this century the term dining car has meant the favorite place of most travelers on a train. As we end this century, thewords dining car have new meaning.

A dining car is a traveling van. Recently the menu in our dining car on theway to school included two grapefruit halves for my daughter and a scrambled egg sandwich on toast for my son. Mom had hot tea and bananabread. A friend of mine says my car always smells so good, like arestaurant. I tell her it is.There are other major differences between this dining car and the more traditional one on the railroad. On the train, the waiter takes the order,gives it to the cook, and brings the food.

In the new dining car, the waitress is also the cook and the driver. Whichmeans ordering is not a simple matter at all. The waitress must first begthat anything be eaten. If there is a grunting, conditional agreement thateating may occur, the gleeful waitress then begins the list of offerings.

Here’s where the railroad waiter has the advantage. On the train hiscustomers are willing and interested, or at least, fully awake. The vanwaitress/mom has customers who are half-asleep, uninterested and under duress from the badgering waitress/mom.

Every menu item the van waitress/mom offers is quickly rejected; beginning with the phrase, “I hate…” Should the van waitress/mom scoreand get an order for food, she quickly becomes the desperate cook to present the food before minds are changed and/or time runs out.

The other distinction between the two dining cars is that the dining car on the train has someone to bus the tables. Our dining car depends on thecustomers for this, and that’s where the system breaks down.

The other day I removed a jacket from the rear seat of the car and a plate fell to the ground and shattered. Where are those bus boys when you needthem? At any given time between my two front seats one can find at least two coffee mugs, some silverware and countless fast food soft drink cups.

Fast food containers outnumber everything else because, while the dining car is used for all meals, the customers are definitely more receptive if the menu items offered are from a drive-thru. But those fast food paperproducts can really trash the place.

One time my husband went to the car to look for something, and, just for the heck of it, he counted as he removed 34 plastic cup lids with straws still attached. I’ll be hearing about that on my deathbed.Our family dining car may be missing busboys, but a furry four-legged garbage disposal greets the car, tail wagging, as soon as we arrive. Allleftovers are immediately consumed. This is handy.The lack of a clean-up crew is actually desirable sometimes, since eating can resume on non-perishable “food items” every time we return to the car. For example, we have just renamed our dining car the Candy Van, sincethe haul from last week’s Trick or Treating remains there for continuous consumption.

Now, in the morning, no arguments about breakfast; I just pour a hopeful glass of milk in case all that sugar makes them thirsty. Our new candybuffet breakfast isn’t much of a nutritional slide for us, I’m sorry to say.

This parental failure is lessened by the knowledge that I have company.

Once I called a friend’s car on the way to school, and her daughter answered the phone, “She’s in the bakery getting me a doughnut.” When themom returned the call I teased, “I can’t believe that you’re feeding that child a doughnut for breakfast! Obviously you’ve missed all those articles about the necessity of a hearty breakfast for proper brain function in school!” Defensively she inquired, ” What are your’s eating?” knowing full well we were dining in the car. “A Reese cup and a bag of chips,”I replied brazenly.

“And what is hearty about that?” she pressed. “Nothing,” I said. “But somedays they have the BIG Reese 4-pack and a large bag of chips. That’shearty.”Back to Top

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