By LEONARD GRAY / L’Observateur / March 13, 1999

What is it with telephone manners nowadays? I often get compliments for my telephone behavior, simply because I was taught how to properly use a telephone. That statement, however, is not intended to sound too smug. Imake mistakes.

But the trend of telephone manners (and the absence thereof) really gripes me as so much of my work is necessarily done on the telephone.

“Huh?” is not an appropriate way to answer the telephone, whether home or business. However, I get that several times each day. And countless parents, who obviously adore their tiny tykes, love to either (A) allow them to answer the phone, or (B) allow them to record the answering machine message.

I adore children also. They are our future, our legacy on earth and shouldbe in our thoughts in whatever we do which will affect their future. Justwait until they are at least 10 or so before you let them answer the phone.

“Hello? Is your daddy at home?” “Who?” “Your daddy. Is your daddy at home?””NO! BYE!” (click) Never mind that mommy might have been right there.

Or, on the other hand, a teeny-tiny voice squeaks into my ear: “HI! MY PARENTS AREN’T HERE AND NEITHER AM I, SO LEAVE A MESSAGE AND DON’T COME BY!” I’m sorry. That just gripes me to no end when I hope to speak with an adultand get a 3-year-old chirping in my head.

I also have trouble with business and government people I am trying to reach who have their receptionists and secretaries well trained to deflect all calls. Look – either they’re there or they’re not and if they’re not, youlikely have a good idea when they will be in. It’s been my personalexperience that secretaries know everything about their boss’s movements and probably can set their watches by them.

I’m a pretty busy guy, too, but I go out of my way to make myself available.

I have a cellular phone and I have been guilty of using in while driving.

Admittedly, that’s a fault I have but I’m working on it, to pull over when I need to make or accept a call. It does bother me, though, when I seesomeone using a cellular phone while driving, thumbing through papers and only occasionally glancing at the road.

Remember those annoying “Baby On Board” signs which were widely imitated with bad jokes such as “Husband in Trunk”? How about a “Cell Phone On Board” sign so we can all avoid these dangerous drivers? And don’t get me started on telemarketers who phone exactly when my first bite of supper approaches my open mouth. That’s a whole ‘nothercolumn, and I’m ticked off enough for one morning.

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