The Gray Line Tour
Published 12:00 am Friday, January 14, 2000
LEONARD GRAY / L’Observateur / January 14, 2000
From time to time, I’m called upon to write a column which is somewhat funny. Considering my somewhat dry sense of humor, that is often achallenge to me. Often, my own wife fails to get my jokes.However, this column is offered as a kind of “jokes-R-us,” in particular for Saints fans (or former fans).
Why is it good to have Mike Ditka as a passenger? You can use the handicapped zone.
Why don’t Saints’ coaches eat Jello? They can’t figure out how to put two cups of water into those little packages.
A woman once left two Saints season tickets on the front seat of her car, left unlocked on Canal Street. When she returned, there were three morepairs of tickets.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of 40? The Saints’ front office on parade.
What was the worst three years of Mike Ditka’s life? Charm school.
How do you keep a Saints’ player out of your house? Put a goal post in your front yard.
A little Cuban boy made it to America, but Immigration didn’t know what to do with him. “Do you want to stay with family here?” “No, they beatme!” the boy said. “Do you want to go back to Cuba?” “No, they’ll beat meworse!” the boy added. “What do you want to do?” The boy replied, “I wantto live with the New Orleans Saints. They never beat anybody!”
The Saints’ fan died and went to the “other” place. The devil placed him inthe fiery furnace and strolled away. An hour later, the devil returned tofind the fan roasting peanuts. “Man, it’s hotter that this in Louisiana inJuly!” said the fan. The devil turned the furnace hotter and walked away.When he returned, the Saints fan was cooking jambalaya. “Man, it’s hotterthan this in Louisiana in August!” The devil turned the heat all the way off and turned on the freezer to sub-zero, then walked away. When hereturned, the devil found the Saints fan whooping for joy and yelling, “They won the Super Bowl! They won the Super Bowl!”And finally, my own small contribution: There once was a Saints’ coach named Mike Whom everyone thought they would like.
He claimed to be mean, But did stuff obscene, And Benson told Mike, “Take a hike!”
Copyright © 1998, Wick Communications, Inc.
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