LEONARD GRAY

Summer movies have little real value I’ve always had a fascination with movies. My video collection is huge and getting larger, week by week. My tastes are broad and include everything from Hollywood classics to what might generously be labeled “grade Z” films. One would think, therefore, I’m constantly in the theaters. Not so. I rarely get to the movie theaters, so I’ve missed a lot, especially in recent years. It took me three years, for example, to see “The Matrix” and its then-state of the art special effects. I finally saw part of it on a premium cable channel, which impelled me to find the video and buy it. I’m in the same boat with “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Wanted to see it in the theater, keep missing it on cable and will most likely buy it on video. However, there have been some movies I refuse to miss in the theaters. Every James Bond movie, for example, no matter how wretched, I will seek out in the theaters. I stood in line for every episode in the “Star Wars” series. And the first of the “Lord of the Rings” movie, I will likely camp out to see the first screening. However, there’s some movies I take a perverse pride in never having seen. I think I’m one of the very few who has never, ever, seen “E.T.” And given the opportunity, I’ll pass it right by. Yes, I know it’s a good movie and one of Steven Spielberg’s finest. I’m just not interested. I saw the first “Godfather” movie back when I was at LSU. I never saw the sequels. Just not interested. My video collection, as I said, is considerable. It ranges from classic horror movies from the silent era to the entire Universal Pictures “Frankenstein” series. I even sought out the Spanish-language version of the 1931 “Dracula” because the acting is so much better, even though I don’t speak a word of Spanish. But I’ve never seen the teen-scream horror movies of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” genre. Bo-ring. The collection also includes a small collection of “grade Z” films including the bad-classic “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” and “Terror of Tiny Town,” the only, all-midget, musical Western. But I have classics such as “Gone with the Wind,” “Casablanca,” “Patton” and “To Kill a Mockingbird,” showing that I’m not totally beyond redemption in my taste in movies. The last movie I saw? “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.” This was a film with absolutely no socially-redeeming value, except the special effects, which includes Angelina Jolie’s spectacular wardrobe. I think I’ll get it on video, at the same time as I pick up “Charlie’s Angels.” But no one and nobody, even at the point of a gun, is dragging me to see “Shrek.” LEONARD GRAY is assistant managing editor of L’Observateur.