MARY ANN FITZMORRIS

Learning the value of money I’m so confused. I’m not sure who I owe money to and whose account is straight. Making the children more fiscally responsible seemed like such a good idea, but I was warned it took a great deal of discipline, not exactly my strong suit. I’ll add, it takes a really swell memory. Which for me is long gone. This plan began after I tired of buying things for the kids that I knew were worthless. Little children like cheap junk just as well as expensive toys, and they like the packaging best of all. But once a kid becomes less interested in the box, and more enthusiastic about what’s in it, the contents of the box becomes more and more expensive. Often the quality of the item is not commensurate with the increase in the price. Lately, I have found myself spending money on things I thought were absolutely useless. Besides, we were doing a candy bar per retail checkout, regardless of the number of errands. In short, my children had no sense at all of the value of money. Like a grown-up who lives from paycheck to paycheck, my son lives from must-have toy to must-have toy. My spouse and I had reached the point of needing to bellow the question, “Do you think money grows on trees?” We just couldn’t see ourselves doing this, so it was time to enact a more constructive plan. I decided that I would give the children an allowance, and they would be required to handle their own financial affairs. The kids thought this sounded like a great idea, especially when I told them what they would be receiving on payday. My son was to get $15, my daughter $10. This is far more than any of their friends get, which they like. And, they aren’t expected to lift a finger for it, which they like even better. If they are inclined to do anything valuable for me, they can earn extra money. To date, this inclination hasn’t hit either of them. While they do not have to work for this money, they are expected to obey a few simple rules, or a fine is imposed. For example, both children were overwhelmed by the task of pushing a clothes drawer shut. Every time I saw one open, the offender was fined 50 cents. My daughter quickly realized the folly in noncompliance, but my son did not catch on until he had lost fully a third of his pay check! When I announced he was down to a deduction of $5, he scooped all of his clothes from a drawer to keep in a pile on his bed. “I hate this new system, Mom. I want to go back to the old one where you just buy us things as we need them.” My daughter concurred, “Me, too.” It was time for some of that discipline someone mentioned. I took my son’s clothes and directed him to place them where they belong, lecturing, “I am not required to buy you anything. I am responsible for feeding you, clothing you, and educating you. I am not even required to love you, but I do. That’s why we are doing this; to give you an understanding of the way our system runs. It revolves around money.” Once they realized it was this or nothing, they displayed a real knack for playing the money game. Both children got paid on Friday, and by Saturday all the money was gone. “Mom, I don’t have my money with me right now, I’ll pay you back for this candy bar when we get home. Mom, I need these batteries for the camping trip, but I’ve spent all my money for this week. Can you get them and not give me next week’s allowance?” Trying to keep all this straight in my head has been a real challenge, but overall, they are learning a lot more about how to handle money. Like the experts always say, this allowance thing is a valuable lesson. I hope my husband doesn’t notice. He’ll want to put me on one. MARY ANN FITZMORRIS writes this column regularly for L’Observateur.